Emma Brockes Visiting Time I had it all worked out. l’ll tell you the truth, l’ve never been a liar. I’m six-foot six on the left. On the right I’m six-foot four. Broke my leg in a motorbike accident in the sixties, riding pillion. I walk on the slant but I have the advantage of height, which is handy when you’re planning on killing a man. As I saw it, if I went into that prison and I knew roughly how tall it was, and if I could get my hands in the correct position, get my thumbs fast enough under its chin, I could break its neck. l’d worked out where l’d have to stand and how fast I’d have to do it, how long before the screws came in. I never told my wife. I try to keep her In the dark, like if there’s a programme on TV about murder, l’ll tear the page from the Radio Times. We don’t discuss it. We haven’t referred to it since the day of the sentencing. Therapy whatnot, we don’t need reminding. lt’s how we get along. 20 Before I entered the prison, I went to a church across the road and said a small prayer. Then I walked into the governor’s office. I’d seen the murderer standing roughly where that chair is -. there and I walked over and the governor was there and I asked to use the toilet and I went in and was saying the prayer again and running cold water on my wrists. I was thinking, if you harm it, it’s more aggro for the wife. She’ll have the police at the door again, don’t know if she can take it. But “Eimultaneous l’m thinking, I want it dead. So I come out of the toilet, walk straight towards it and everyone’s looking at me thinking this is it, which way am I going to go? There’s things flashing through my brain, all the traumas, like how when I was a kid my best mate was killed by a lion. lt sounds funny, but it ain’t so funny. The teachers said we could venture off round the zoo, so we went to the lion enclosure. We came up the wooden steps and the 40 chicken wire that keeps kids away was all open. Alan, John and Tony got through the wire, but I couldn’t…